OK. There is a serious difference between gossip and talking about people because they are people in your life or mutual lives. Also. There is a difference between gossip and just plain telling someone else that said person treated you poorly or that said businesses person is terrible at what they do or stating that someone is a cheat or always lies, or steals things. Let's get something clear here. These are not "judgment calls"and it isn't spreading malicious rumors of any kind. It's communication people. How else are people to know about there greater community? How else are we supposed to stay connected and concerned about lives other than our own? How are we supposed to learn from other people's mistakes? How are we supposed to steer clear up the untrustworthy business person and how are we supposed to know that we should take everything so and so says with a grain of salt or if so and so comes over just make sure you have things out that you aren't going to be upset about when they suddenly grow legs and walk out the door.
To me the important part is that you continue to speak to someone even if they are a liar and you acknowledge that and let others know that is a fact. You continue to care about the person who is a klepto and you even have them over but you face the facts and you don't let anyone else get things stolen from them just because you don't want to "talk about anyone".
I learned something hugely valuable in Mexico and that was the fact that you could state very bluntly things about people, even when that person was in the room, actually, especially when that person was in the room and everyone would acknowledge the facts and yet they still found humor in it and they fully embraced that person for what they really were and fully embraced their feels about them.
Seems kind of healthy to me.
Every SAHM needs a way to earn her coffee money....